Ashleigh (asouthernthing) wrote in lwordsnark,
Ashleigh
asouthernthing
lwordsnark

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List of 3x08 Rants (And Stuff)

As I said earlier via comment, everyone was apparently on drugs this week. The past few episodes have been great, good, and fantastic in my opinion. And then someone whipped out the crack pipe and said "let's go smoke!" and then they did. Because...
- Bette just told Tina to go do her employee a week or so ago, and now she's saying "YOU ARE NOT MY LIFE PARTNER OMGZ!!!" She hasn't done him yet, she pushed him to the floor like a rabid dog, and she even told Bette she didn't mind her touching her (although God knows how honest THAT was, since neither of these women are Tammy Truthteller, but at least it was a start). And then Bette whips out the pipe and goes, "OMG GET OUT OF MY HOUSE." Don't forget who's paying the mortgage now, bananer.

- Carmen? Same stash. "OMG YOU TATTOO!CHEATED ON ME IN A DREAM, NOW GET OUT OF YOUR OWN DAMN BED AND SLEEP ON THE COUCH YOU WHORE." Crack, crack, crack. Apologies mean nothing on this show.

- While I'm at it, BETTY. Not only musically incompetent, but morally incapable of staying out of their "FRIEND'S" business. Elizabeth Ziff must be real good in bed or real good at faking it.

- Helena/Dylan sex scenes were totally hot, but I don't think Dylan is all there. As in I think she's scamming Helena's ass off for whatever reason. Boyfriend doesn't care where she was overnight, is MORE than eager to get into Helena's pants (well, hell, so am I, but I didn't PUSH HER AWAY one day and then attack her in her office the next, either). Something is sketch, and watch that be another dropped storyline featuring Just Another Crazy Closeted Lesbian.

- Also, am I the only one who finds it amusing that Alexandra Hedison (Dylan) used to date Ellen DeGeneres, who now dates Portia de Rossi, who once dated Francesca Gregorini, who is now reportedly dating Kate Moennig? We need a real-life Chart to keep up with this shit.

- WHILE I'M AT IT, why did Bette just assume Tina wasn't attracted to men anymore? Are we outing Bette as a bisexualphobe? Because dude, you were the first woman she ever did, and if that's what we're trying to gather from Bette (that it's either licking or dicking, but not both) then it's being done entirely the wrong way. Instead of getting intolerant!Bette (who has always been a shade intolerant, even when she's being all loving and benevolent) we're getting badbatchofcrack!Bette. Lord God help us.

- DID I MENTION BETTY? Because it's worth mentioning twice.

- It pisses me off the way they treat Max. Goes back the whole intolerant thing. Maybe this season's theme isn't "crackheads" or "overreaction, but "intolerance among the minority"? Was it Alice who made the comment about Max living off of Jenny? Because let's not forget who was the breadwinner in Bette's house for years (because Lord knows Tina's forgotten it).
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